We're all SOL in SOLdotna - and those who are deepest in it are often repeat Letter to the Editor writers. You can't fix stupid, but you can laugh at 'em!
Mr. and Mrs. Keller. Avid Letter to the Editor contributors to the PC, Mr. Keller has threatened to move because SOLdotna and the Kenai Borough are taxing him to death (we pay some of the lowest property taxes in the nation). He recently ranted about a tax the city of SOLdotna has been unjustly charging him. It seems Keller has a SOLdotna address, but actually lives just out of town (and downriver from the wastewater treatment plant) – and so shouldn’t be billed a 34 cents a month phone tariff. Dude, your $350,000 property is downriver from the sewage that SOLdotna dumps in the Kenai everyday – maybe you should tell them to keep the pocket change and give all of that shit the deluxe treatment.
Not to be outdone, Mrs K's most recent letter let SOLdotna know that unless you back W 100%, you couldn't possibly support our troops. Uh??...Hello, Mrs K - wake up and smell the shite! When we eventually pull our troops out - the government in Iraq will look just like it does today. The USA will be hundreds of billions of dollars poorer, a new generation of jihadists will be well-trained and motivated, and many more of our best, bravest, and most dedicated young men and women will have their lives obliterated or devastated. Support our Troops - bring 'em home!
Begin with one of the most productive wild salmon rivers in the world, bring in the oil and gas industry, have almost non-existent land use ordinances, squeeze in as many strip malls, car lots and big signs as you can manage - and what do you get?
SOLdotna!
Folks call this place Slow-dotna, but that's too cliché.
SOLdotna begins with S-O-L and you know that you're Shit Outta Luck in this town.
Friday, February 10, 2006
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
10 Things that don't Suck in SOLdotna
1)Tsalteshi Trails - world class x-country skiing. And the trail reports are literary gems - Go Fermi! check out a recent post:
'Twas brillig, then the slithy 4-Wheelers
did gyre and gimble in the wabe;" 'Beware the Jabberwock my son!
The wheels that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Susuki bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"...........
The wolfmoosebearrabbitlynxcoyoteravenbeaver trails were rolled out yesterday. Everything was brillig...then two 4-wheelers:
"Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as they came!"
'One, two! One, two! and through and through
Their vorpal wheels went snicker-snack"
The loops had to be re-groomed, and the frumious tracks were removed......"O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!"....The skiing should be good today. unless, of course the manxome foe came galumphing back again last night.
2)Kaladi Bros - the fix is on...but make that joe a bit hotter if you would please
3)World Music for the Kenai (thanks, Mike!)
4)River City Books
5)M. Scott Moon - the photographer for the Clarion. Damn, his picts are good - and it's about the only reason to buy the rag. How come you're still in THIS town?!?
6)KDLL (well it's not broadcasted from SOLdotna. but the reception here isn't bad if you wear some tinfoil on your head)
7)The Kenai River Brewery opened this summer (behind Frosos) Get a Growler or two...
8)You can get there (ski, bike, climb, hike, kayak) from here.
9)Well, OK - I had to stretch a bit to even include the last two items, but I am a bit of a PollyAnna. The truth is that there aren't 10 things that don't suck about SOLdotna - that's why you're SOL here!
'Twas brillig, then the slithy 4-Wheelers
did gyre and gimble in the wabe;" 'Beware the Jabberwock my son!
The wheels that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Susuki bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"...........
The wolfmoosebearrabbitlynxcoyoteravenbeaver trails were rolled out yesterday. Everything was brillig...then two 4-wheelers:
"Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as they came!"
'One, two! One, two! and through and through
Their vorpal wheels went snicker-snack"
The loops had to be re-groomed, and the frumious tracks were removed......"O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!"....The skiing should be good today. unless, of course the manxome foe came galumphing back again last night.
2)Kaladi Bros - the fix is on...but make that joe a bit hotter if you would please
3)World Music for the Kenai (thanks, Mike!)
4)River City Books
5)M. Scott Moon - the photographer for the Clarion. Damn, his picts are good - and it's about the only reason to buy the rag. How come you're still in THIS town?!?
6)KDLL (well it's not broadcasted from SOLdotna. but the reception here isn't bad if you wear some tinfoil on your head)
7)The Kenai River Brewery opened this summer (behind Frosos) Get a Growler or two...
8)You can get there (ski, bike, climb, hike, kayak) from here.
9)Well, OK - I had to stretch a bit to even include the last two items, but I am a bit of a PollyAnna. The truth is that there aren't 10 things that don't suck about SOLdotna - that's why you're SOL here!