Tuesday, January 31, 2006

The Jeff Webster "Wet Bucket Brigade" Award Nominations

SOLdotna's most famous citizen is the river guide, Jeff Webster. Jeff won the Jefferson Muzzle Award in 2004 when he twice doused an 82 year-old woman in sub-freezing temperature at the "Y" in SOLdotna. The lady was protesting the US invasion of Iraq. Big Bad Jeff had the audacity to film his stunt the second time around and post it on the 'net. The JWWBBA: Throwing Cold Water on Freedom of Speech since 2003

Anyway, in honor of Mr. Webster's ignominious behavior, the following central peninsula residents are nominated for their undaunted sense of self-righteousness, undeniable idiocy, and absence of extrapolating a thought much beyond its inception.

And the nominees are:
1)The Peninsula Clarion. To be Fair and Balanced, this paper simply doesn't have any balls. Northern Dynasty couldn't have bought a fluffier examination of the Pebble Mine. Simultaneously, the NYTimes ran an in-depth look at the world-wide economic, social, and environmental damages caused by gold mining. Guess we don't need to know any of that stuff. And the cheerleading continues - just yesterday, the PC ran another front page info-mercial from ND: "Yep, there's big gold out in them thar hills". They are playing us with a treble hook and a quick jerk; hoping to snag us like a spawned humpie. Let's ask some tough questions!...And how about some real local news like where did all that AWG $ go? What sort of deal is MallWart getting? I have to admit that the headline the other day 'SOLdotna Cemetery Not Dead Yet' was clever - but how come you guys can't figure out why the borough and the city of SOLdotna are at odds?

2) Bill 'Dozer' Popp. Big Bill really isn't a bad guy - but has there ever been a development that he questions? Private Prisons, Pig Farms, Big Box stores, Pebble Mine, and all of the refineries, platforms, and wells we can construct are just what we need to transform the Kenai into Texas. Bill is now Borough Mayor William's primary "Yes Man" (In addition to being on the government dole as a paid lobbyist to the oil and gas industry? Hmmm, doesn't big industry usually hire lobbyists to kiss up to government and not the other way around!?!?)

3)KPBSD Central Orifice Administration. The whole gang of 'em. Those who can do, those who can't, teach. Those who can't teach become principals. Those who aren't principled become Central Office administrators! Oh, employees aren't allowed to say 'central office' anymore. End of discussion. Lead by bullying and stifling different point of views. After all, it's the SOLdotna way of life!


Anonymous said...

It's hard to list all the outrageous things about Windbag Keller, but the worst has to be how he loves to tout that he's a disabled vet and thus deserves all the tax breaks he can get. He may have been a vet ... but he is disabled because he climbed a satellite TV installer's ladder, without permission, fell off and ruined his leg. That is why he is disabled ... because he was being nosey, not because he was defending our country. So the next time he says he is a disabled vet, we all need to ask him in which war did he get disabled. Will he admit it was the one between Dish Network and Direct TV?

Anonymous said...

I agree about Bill Popp. How does owning a Music store prepare a person for a position like he recieved. What a joke. He is a disgrace.

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